One of my good friends, Emma is going to not be returning this coming semester. She is taking the time to spend with her family while her
mom fights cancer. She will be a great help to the family, being able to help out with the other seven children. I went home with her to Missouri for Thanksgiving and had a great time getting to know the family. Emma had been praying that God would show her what and where her role is as her mom was diagnosed with cancer earlier this semester. While we were there Emma felt a peace being at home that only God could bring. So as hard as it is on her and on the ones of us that will be staying at CIU, she is going to take the semester off and return Fall ’08.
After reading something by Beth Moore, this was my reaction. Oh side note, Jonathan was David’s very
close friend in the old testament, a friend that was very dear to his heart.
In a few weeks I won’t be able to have a confidant by my side. The person who began to walk this journey with me only a short time ago will now be a daylights time away from me. The comfort that is so easily obtain will be far from me. My jonathan is going home and my heart aches.
God is teaching me through this situation already. For some reason in my life the word
obedience has been reoccurring. Why in the midst of this situation, I am not completely sure. I know that my jonathan is following God, that her obedience to Him will be blessed. But what does obedience have to do with my life? John chapter 14 starting in verse 15:
If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.
Maybe I am to obey God in the sense that I am to accept that this is His will. I know that this is of Him. I know that this time will be just what that family needs. And I am so proud of my jonathan for her courage. I am going to miss her so much though. I need to fully trust God in this, not just knowing, but believing with my heart that this is His will and His will is perfect and all that matters. Through my love of Him I am to accept this and not wallow in what could be different. My jonathan has ministered to my heart, she has befriended me, and she has cared about me. And all the while God has constantly been faithful to me and ministered to me in ways I never imagined. How He has used this friendship to
grow my spiritual walk has been such a blessing. There is a part of my heart that selfishly feels abandoned and cries, wondering why all happened as it did. But God says that I have the Spirit within me, the Counselor. He stands with me through this pain and I have not been abandoned.
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.He will never leave.
God is constant! Never changing, always present! Comforting, loving, compassionate and so merciful! God is in me so why do I even have the right to feel alone? Will I mourn…yes. But the Spirit within me provides peace.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
This is His pleasing and
perfect will. So why should I worry, why should I be afraid? I should be confident in what He is doing in all aspects of this situation.
God has all authority and
he has supremacy over humanity and all creation. Freedom is found in His Spirit and through obedience to his authority.
In her book,
Breaking Free, Beth Moore says obedience is perpetually following hard after God. Obedience is inviting the Spirit of God to flow freely through us. Obedience is learning to love and treasure God’s Word and see it as our safety.
We are to follow hard after God even when it hurts, when we are torn between our “two worlds” like my jonathan is.
A truth that is starting to become so evident to me is this: It is not about me and it is not about others,
it is about God. “I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me” John 6:38. Jesus lived because His father said to live so that we might have life. He had no other reason to live. This is what life is about...it is not living to see how many attachments you can make or to see how stuck in one place or one situation you can get. This life is about growing and walking with a God that knows far more than we do. Allowing God to send us, move us, keep us, and grow us. Moore says, “Jesus had to trust His Father’s will completely. Although rejection, suffering, and shame were part of His experience, Christ accepted His God-given ministry at every difficult turn because He trusted His Father’s heart”. God wants us to trust His will through every stage of life…our life is our ministry…we are to
trust God with our life, knowing that He is all we need and He is the only one we are to live for. He has blessed us with Jonathans and I am so very thankful. But he wants us to live a life that is willing to change, willing to be sent, willing to stay. Relationship is one of, if not the most important thing in life. However, life is about God. The world does not follow suit.
Moore says, “We seek to please Him. He seeks to perfect us—and life works. Not without pain, but with purpose.”
God has supremacy. God has authority. He is in control. My life is for Him. I am to live in obedience. I am not alone because of the Spirit in me.
My heart is filled with praise because of my jonathan. I am so very proud of her. I trust God to deepen this relationship and I give Him all the glory. I don’t have a shadow of a doubt that my jonathan will be walking this walk with me for a long time and that this situation will be such a growing time in my life as well as hers.
Please be praying for the Rea family. Emma’s mom’s name is Diana.
