“Stains”
I touch the bronze latch, cold and rustic. My fingers tremble not wanting to open the faded light wood lid from its hinges. I turn my head away as a tear glides gently down. But my eyes, finding nothing else to be fixed to are averted back to the subject at hand.
My mind races to the first gaze I took upon the young golden wood of my box. I stood staring, motionless, the weight of my body daring to cave under my struggling legs. I reached within me grabbing hold of the object. I held it in my trembling hands. It was spattered with blood, with drops of new and some of old. My mind retreated to its comatose state and my hands were left alone holding the object. Eyes overwhelmed, knees hit the gravel ground and my hands did touch the bright bronze latch. Opening the lid I thrust the object forward rocking on my knees. The smooth lid fell after its prisoner, and my eyes softened but a bit. My feet glided beneath me and my body rose. I raised the box bright and fare and held it parallel to my shoulders. My feet carried me forward where I came to a man, who struggled to breathe. His feet did not touch the earth beneath Him; His arms were spread and His body, straight as the board behind Him. He heaved in a deep sigh and stared down at me, and then glared at the chest I carried. Hands still unsteady I lifted the wood above my head. Touch was lost as the box spread the dust of the dirt at my feet. The man stained with blood, drops of new and some of old, cried out in agony as His veins came out of hiding. Huge tears ran down His face to meet His beard. He let in a deep breath and looked once again upon my face and dove into my eyes.
Now here I sit fingers touching the cold latch. The faded wood stained with blood drops. “I can’t God, I don’t know what this is.” Tan warm skin touches my pale, cold hand. “You can’t but I can.” My head raises and my green eyes swirl in His deep brown pools, and together our hands raise the lid.
Lauren Whatley
April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Prayer Day here at CIU...the result:
“Object of His Mercy”
We walk the shore in silence our steps in sync. In every other stride naturally brushing against one another. The sun propped above the vast water holds a soft glow. The waves gently crash as the water runs up to meet my toes. I look up to my left and ask Him why. “Why is it that the water seems so wide, that the beach never ends, that my shins scream in pain, why can’t I be carried?” His dark eyes stare back into mine and for a second I think He is about to answer but His soft lips remain loosely shut. I can feel His eyes wandering within me. My body goes heavy; His brow goes soft with compassion as His gaze spears my heart. In defense I lurch forward grabbing his forearms, a thud is heard as we hit the ground. My hurt overwhelms me as I wrestle with Him turning over and over, as the cold earth beneath us does not budge. My face scrunches confused as to what emotion to portray. My heart bleeds from His pierce. My body convulses knowing my core is collapsing. But clenched white hands grip his arms remaining in place as we tumble in a fast spin. He turns me over one last time as my head hits the shore. My cheek is spattered with sand as if it were blood. And my core is pushed hard, trying to sink beneath the unmovable grit. My scratched knuckles on His arms the only thing keeping me whole. Tears start to roll mixing with the grain of my face, His composure full of compassion, and His brow now showing mercy. Wrenching my hands from His arms he places them in His and with a steady voice speaks as I lay there on my back—broken, tears coming from the overflow of my pierced heart. “Have you seen the shells that we passed as we walked? Some you have stopped to admire and take for others to see. Their immaculate beauty and their swirling curves I have made for your eyes to gaze at, for your soft hands to touch. You are running well, but do you see the hope I have laid before you? It will not always be like it is now. The waves will slow their pace and the wind will blow to another side, just as the birds only leave for a season, so for you too this will be but a chapter. Do not see this as winter because now it is spring.” A faint smile escapes His face as if He sees something I do not. My face turns loose and my eyes are commandeered with a peace, not all too sure why His lips do curve. Sand now warm beneath me, I lie still, as He shifts His left hand to prop up His head. Lying on His side He looks down the beach where we have not yet walked, and once again His face is painted with a slight smile.
Lauren Whatley
April 15, 2008
“What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory” Romans 9:22-23
“Therefore this is what the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, says to the house of the Lord: ‘No longer will Jacob be ashamed; no longer will their faces grow pale. When they see among them their children, the work of my hands they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of God of Israel.’” Isaiah 29:22-23
We walk the shore in silence our steps in sync. In every other stride naturally brushing against one another. The sun propped above the vast water holds a soft glow. The waves gently crash as the water runs up to meet my toes. I look up to my left and ask Him why. “Why is it that the water seems so wide, that the beach never ends, that my shins scream in pain, why can’t I be carried?” His dark eyes stare back into mine and for a second I think He is about to answer but His soft lips remain loosely shut. I can feel His eyes wandering within me. My body goes heavy; His brow goes soft with compassion as His gaze spears my heart. In defense I lurch forward grabbing his forearms, a thud is heard as we hit the ground. My hurt overwhelms me as I wrestle with Him turning over and over, as the cold earth beneath us does not budge. My face scrunches confused as to what emotion to portray. My heart bleeds from His pierce. My body convulses knowing my core is collapsing. But clenched white hands grip his arms remaining in place as we tumble in a fast spin. He turns me over one last time as my head hits the shore. My cheek is spattered with sand as if it were blood. And my core is pushed hard, trying to sink beneath the unmovable grit. My scratched knuckles on His arms the only thing keeping me whole. Tears start to roll mixing with the grain of my face, His composure full of compassion, and His brow now showing mercy. Wrenching my hands from His arms he places them in His and with a steady voice speaks as I lay there on my back—broken, tears coming from the overflow of my pierced heart. “Have you seen the shells that we passed as we walked? Some you have stopped to admire and take for others to see. Their immaculate beauty and their swirling curves I have made for your eyes to gaze at, for your soft hands to touch. You are running well, but do you see the hope I have laid before you? It will not always be like it is now. The waves will slow their pace and the wind will blow to another side, just as the birds only leave for a season, so for you too this will be but a chapter. Do not see this as winter because now it is spring.” A faint smile escapes His face as if He sees something I do not. My face turns loose and my eyes are commandeered with a peace, not all too sure why His lips do curve. Sand now warm beneath me, I lie still, as He shifts His left hand to prop up His head. Lying on His side He looks down the beach where we have not yet walked, and once again His face is painted with a slight smile.
Lauren Whatley
April 15, 2008
“What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory” Romans 9:22-23
“Therefore this is what the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, says to the house of the Lord: ‘No longer will Jacob be ashamed; no longer will their faces grow pale. When they see among them their children, the work of my hands they will keep my name holy; they will acknowledge the holiness of the Holy One of Jacob, and will stand in awe of God of Israel.’” Isaiah 29:22-23
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Update
Hey there! I am aweful at keeping this up, so I am just going to give you a couple of updates about things.
A week or so ago. Seacoast Church and CIU agreed to partner together. 
I was soooooo excited to have Greg, Mac, and Josh here along with Martin and the worship crew from the Long Point campus. Greg talked about how we do worship at 
Seacoast and we worshipped just as we do on Sunday mornings at Seacoast. I was so amazed at how God moved in people's lives during the response time. I love my church and I love my school. It was too cool to see them come together like that. But what is so amazing is the passion and the vision these two institutions have to know God and to make Him know!
I was soooooo excited to have Greg, Mac, and Josh here along with Martin and the worship crew from the Long Point campus. Greg talked about how we do worship at 
Seacoast and we worshipped just as we do on Sunday mornings at Seacoast. I was so amazed at how God moved in people's lives during the response time. I love my church and I love my school. It was too cool to see them come together like that. But what is so amazing is the passion and the vision these two institutions have to know God and to make Him know!This weekend was the 2008 MORPH conference for high school and middle school students held here at CIU. I helped out by being a "mom" of a family group. It was such a blast, but so challenging. Each family group had to have a theme, our theme was "Kingigarden" aka Kindergarten. My "husband" and I sported our kiddy out fits the first day...him in suspenders and tube socks, and me in braided pig tails and overalls. Our group flag was three pairs of batman underwear on a stick, and there were plenty of bubbles, squirt guns, and crayons to go around...oh and who could forget the candy. 
The students were amazing. I got to know one of them pretty well and was just blown away by his story. Did not get much sleep at all this weekend. Last night I got maybe 4 hours. So of course when the students packed up and left today I hit the bed and got a good 3 hour nap. I learned so much about myself this weekend. I saw my weaknesses, and I saw God use me in a time I felt I had nothing to offer. Waking up one morning I said "God I need all your strength and all your joy, because right now I don't have anything to give". The speaker Stuart Hall, who is associated with Northpoint (I think) was our speaker. The theme was renewal, the renewing of our minds. I was really challenged to take up God's Word...after all it is the key; it is Truth, but so often we assume that because we might be a Christian then we have been renewed. Renewal is a process. It was such a great weekend, but I am totally wiped out.
The students were amazing. I got to know one of them pretty well and was just blown away by his story. Did not get much sleep at all this weekend. Last night I got maybe 4 hours. So of course when the students packed up and left today I hit the bed and got a good 3 hour nap. I learned so much about myself this weekend. I saw my weaknesses, and I saw God use me in a time I felt I had nothing to offer. Waking up one morning I said "God I need all your strength and all your joy, because right now I don't have anything to give". The speaker Stuart Hall, who is associated with Northpoint (I think) was our speaker. The theme was renewal, the renewing of our minds. I was really challenged to take up God's Word...after all it is the key; it is Truth, but so often we assume that because we might be a Christian then we have been renewed. Renewal is a process. It was such a great weekend, but I am totally wiped out. News Flash: I only have like 4 more weeks of my freshman year of college! Crazy how fast time flies. I have been thinking...okay maybe fretting over this summer and next year. For this summer I need a job, so I can have money for living expenses next semester. I have signed up for classes already...which are likely to change a bit. I believe I am going to minor in English...and I am so excited about it. The classes look amazing and I just love the subjects. Been praying and thinking over my rooming for next year...really not sure what that is going to look like. I have had a couple of girls offer to room with me. Only one thing is sure and that is I am really looking forward to ministering to the freshman girls from an upperclassman hall. Cannot wait for my dear friend Emma to be back here at school! If you remember she is the one who had to go home to Missouri because of her mother's illness, but she is returning this coming semester.
In other news: I love my friends and support here. God has been good in providing amazing 
friends like Leslie, who has been such a great support to me and is so fun to be around. He has provided guy friendships such as Blair (my "husband" for MORPH), Drew, and Logan (who is from Charleston). And other sweet gals like Monica, Jo, and Brianna. And good honest friends like Kimberly and Ashley.
friends like Leslie, who has been such a great support to me and is so fun to be around. He has provided guy friendships such as Blair (my "husband" for MORPH), Drew, and Logan (who is from Charleston). And other sweet gals like Monica, Jo, and Brianna. And good honest friends like Kimberly and Ashley. So that is all for now. I miss all of you and am looking forward to seeing some of you over summer : )
I will write before summer though haha.
Goodnight,
The College Girl
Whoa! God, you talking to me?
Another thing I wrote and gave to the ladies of Walker dorm. Hope it can minister to you also...
“Letting Out the Net”
Tired and disappointed he walked to the water’s edge carrying his net. Lord I can’t do this any more, this pain makes my whole body shake. Today’s work had produced no result, which meant no pay. As Peter lifted his sun burnt face he saw a Man he knew in his boat. God where are you in this? The Man asked Peter to push the boat out in the water. Trusting Him, Peter and his friends pushed their boat out so Jesus could teach to the crowd from the water. Is this just a wasted season of my life? Will I have to feel this pain for many years to come? When the Man had finished speaking to the crowd, Peter began to direct the boat back to shore, but the Man reached for Peter’s arm. I know you are tired, my daughter. God I just don’t understand. Can’t you just take this pain away? Do you remember that night you were distraught and I held you? Remember? My princess, do you believe I can heal you? The Man asked Peter to go out farther so that they might let out their nets. Peter was confused; it was not the time of day to fish. He and his men barely had any more strength in them to get back to shore, much less clean the nets again. He did not understand the Man’s reasoning in His words. Yet still, Peter replied, “Because you say so, I will let down the nets.” God, I just don’t understand. I do not get how you can bring healing when it seems that this is never ending. It frustrates me that you could take this strife from me, but you don’t. God my heart aches so much—can I please just give up! But God, you have promised you would see me through, that you will restore me. So Father, since you say so I trust you. James and John lowered their nets, as Peter told them and in a moment they were struggling with all their might to pull the overflowing nets in the boat. Another boat had to take on one net of fish because Peter’s boat dared to sink with the weight of the huge catch. You see my love I am doing great things in this season of your life. You can’t even imagine the plans I have for you. I know it is not easy right now, but this pain will pass away if you let me have it. Peter and his friends were in awe of the miracle they had just seen. Peter’s scraped and bruised knees hit the bottom of the boat as he told the Man to go away because he, Peter, was sinful man. God, I don’t deserve this love. I don’t deserve to be pursued as tirelessly as you pursue me. Forgive me for not trusting you, and for leaning on my own understanding. Jesus reached down and lifted Peter, telling him to come with Him and be a fisher of men. Peter and his friends guided the boat to shore. Jesus stepped out onto the sand and three sets of feet followed in His path. Child, I love you and I too look forward to the day this wound will be closed. But I also take the same delight in today. Come walk with me as you walk in this hardship.
Lauren Whatley
March 30, 2008
“Letting Out the Net”
Tired and disappointed he walked to the water’s edge carrying his net. Lord I can’t do this any more, this pain makes my whole body shake. Today’s work had produced no result, which meant no pay. As Peter lifted his sun burnt face he saw a Man he knew in his boat. God where are you in this? The Man asked Peter to push the boat out in the water. Trusting Him, Peter and his friends pushed their boat out so Jesus could teach to the crowd from the water. Is this just a wasted season of my life? Will I have to feel this pain for many years to come? When the Man had finished speaking to the crowd, Peter began to direct the boat back to shore, but the Man reached for Peter’s arm. I know you are tired, my daughter. God I just don’t understand. Can’t you just take this pain away? Do you remember that night you were distraught and I held you? Remember? My princess, do you believe I can heal you? The Man asked Peter to go out farther so that they might let out their nets. Peter was confused; it was not the time of day to fish. He and his men barely had any more strength in them to get back to shore, much less clean the nets again. He did not understand the Man’s reasoning in His words. Yet still, Peter replied, “Because you say so, I will let down the nets.” God, I just don’t understand. I do not get how you can bring healing when it seems that this is never ending. It frustrates me that you could take this strife from me, but you don’t. God my heart aches so much—can I please just give up! But God, you have promised you would see me through, that you will restore me. So Father, since you say so I trust you. James and John lowered their nets, as Peter told them and in a moment they were struggling with all their might to pull the overflowing nets in the boat. Another boat had to take on one net of fish because Peter’s boat dared to sink with the weight of the huge catch. You see my love I am doing great things in this season of your life. You can’t even imagine the plans I have for you. I know it is not easy right now, but this pain will pass away if you let me have it. Peter and his friends were in awe of the miracle they had just seen. Peter’s scraped and bruised knees hit the bottom of the boat as he told the Man to go away because he, Peter, was sinful man. God, I don’t deserve this love. I don’t deserve to be pursued as tirelessly as you pursue me. Forgive me for not trusting you, and for leaning on my own understanding. Jesus reached down and lifted Peter, telling him to come with Him and be a fisher of men. Peter and his friends guided the boat to shore. Jesus stepped out onto the sand and three sets of feet followed in His path. Child, I love you and I too look forward to the day this wound will be closed. But I also take the same delight in today. Come walk with me as you walk in this hardship.
Lauren Whatley
March 30, 2008
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