Takin' the Bucks out of Starbucks

I sit here fully refreshed from a very long midday nap that I much deserved. I worked all weekend and this morning at Starbucks. I was really not looking forward to a couple of my long shifts, but they turned out to be just fine. I wanted to share some cool stories from this weekend.
New Friend

Took my 10min break and got to chat with one of our regular customers, Bill. We exchanged names and started talking about books. He was reading a book about Buddhist simplicity and I asked if that was along the lines of what he believed. He replied that it wasn't something He held tight to and gave the impression that he wasn't associated with any type of religion. I told him the books I had been reading. I talked about the Chronicles of Narnia and then a book by John Eldredge that I am reading. I told him that John is a Christian author and writes in his book about engaging the heart in life and reconnecting it with our minds. Of course this was just simplifing and only grazing the surface of what the book talks about, but it struck a cord. He said that the buddhist mentioned something like that too. We talked for a little bit about just the complexity of the mind and the heart and how amazingly it was created. He is a doctor of sorts, so He had lots of in depth knowledge about the mind. My 10min break became 15min and I excused myself. He came in yesterday and we greeted each other warmly. Found that very interesting and God present.

A Taste of India

Yesterday while working, a indian couple walked in. We were slow at the moment, so I went to sweep the floors. As they drank their coffee I engaged them in a bit of conversation, asking where they were from. She had come from India not to long ago, but they were living in NC and just passing through on their way home. I told them about friends I have that grew up in India and how it has been my dream for a couple of years to go to India. As they went to leave the lady and I talked a bit more and she asked what I was studying, taking a deep breath I said Family and Church Education and English. She asked what I wanted to do and I told her for sure that I wanted to write, and possibly work in a church. We talked for another second or two, but that was it.

I think it is so amazing to connect with people in this way. Because I had friends that were from India and have a heart for India, it opened the couple up and instead of me just engaging them, they engaged me in conversation.

Partner in Crime

There is no one that I dread working with. There are people I would prefer working with over others. One girl I would prefer working with, I rarely get to work with. Luckly this weekend I worked with her two nights in a row. We got to talking about our schooling last night and she asked what I was majoring in and what I wanted to do. I told her a similar response that I gave to the Indian lady, but continued with that fact that I was frustrated with the church. After a shocked second I continued saying how a lot of church's in America need a new mindset. Explained how I couldn't stand the bickering over how to dress or whether to have pews or not, but my frustration went a bit deeper as I explained that there were so many prejudices in the church whether it be against gays or other races. The church needs to minister to all people welcoming them in and meeting them where they are, encouraging them to grow in faith. She found it very refreshing to hear me say these things. She told me that she had several friends that think of religious people as very styerotypical and stuck in their ways. Ouch. She claimed not to be very "religious", but said that it was refreshing when she came across people who weren't the religious people that her friends didn't like. Hmmm... makes ya think. Excited about working with her more and just loving on her. I find it really interesting when a non-believer can see the difference between religion and relationship.

Alright well that is all for now. Hope yall enjoyed some coffee converstations. God is good and He is at work.

The college girl

Music to my ears!

Hey there wanted to encourage you with two songs I am so stuck on.

God reminded me today that I am innocent. I am washed and I am pure. That no filth clings to me.



And the second one has been such an encouragement to me as I am reminded that Christ is my solid rock, that if I stand there I will not be moved.

Written on July 20th

I do not even know where to begin at the moment. On the way here I asked God where He wanted me and I ended up at Starbucks sitting with no distractions, left my headphones in the car along with my other books…so I have no excuse not to write.
A blind man walked in just now and he has so much joy about him. I want to feel that joy despite my pain, despite my handicap. Why is it that these cuts are so deep? It is as if I swallowed glass and now I am ripped from the inside out. I desperately want to be whole…or do I? If I did maybe I would stop digging my heels in the dirt.
Escaped to Myrtle Beach with Kimberly for the weekend. God showed up last night. It was as if He decided that He had something to say and that I should listen. I am still amazed at the words Kimberly had…the words God gave her. To be whole, I have to be broken first. God let me know that He wanted me to be broken. Kimberly told me to just let go of what was stopping me from being there. He was there in that room, but I did not want to hear from him. However, He spoke and I heard.
I was on the couch and it was as if I was trying to stand up, but He pushed me back down. I tried to stand again and He pushed me again. He pushed my body, which was in one piece, asking for it to be in many pieces. He knelt down and told me He would take care of me, just let go. Fall apart and He would catch me. Fall apart?? Where have I heard that before? That is the very thing I want to avoid. He reminded me of His son in the garden of Gethsemane.

Luk 22:40 And when he came to the place, he said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."
Luk 22:41 And he withdrew from them about a stone's throw, and knelt down and prayed,
Luk 22:42 saying, "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done."
Luk 22:43 And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.
Luk 22:44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

Jesus was broken. He had no strength besides that of His father’s. He didn’t create His own identity, run from the pain, or find strength from a false source within. God spoke telling me, telling me to look to the example of His son. To be broken before him. In Matthew Jesus says:

Mar 14:34 "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch."
Mar 14:35 And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.
Mar 14:36 And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

He was overwhelmed with sorrow and He cried out Abba, Father. “Your will not mine”. In that moment I saw God standing over me on that couch and looking at Him and being reminded that He is my father. Really truly He is my daddy. I was scared…frightened of falling apart and I found in the same stern face of God, a comforting father. I felt comfort, I felt His presence, I felt love, I felt SAFE.
What is in the way of me falling apart? My answer in that moment was pride, fear, and the unknown. Something God spoke through Kimberly was, if broken is where He is calling you, then broken is who you are and that is okay. It is where you need to be. That hit me right where I had been questioning, “Who am I?” God’s reply was broken. His reply was my daughter. Who am I? I am Broken, and I want to embrace that identity. God, show me how.

a little hello

Thanks to those who prayed. I would really still appreciate your prayers.

Hopefully I will be able to update soon. Praise God for the wonderful picture He painted for me this weekend and how beautifully He used my sister in Christ to bring me on my face to Him.

Love,
The college girl

long time

Hey there!
I have once again failed at keeping this blog going. OH well I guess I am human after all. Not sure where to even pick up.

Boring stuff
I am working one job now and that is Starbucks. I absolutely love my job. The people I work with are so amazing in their very different ways. I have found support from my company a couple of times already. It is great to receive and give encouragement to my Starbucks fam.

Loss
Life has a way of sneaking up on you and spitting you in the face, leaving you to clean up the mess. Gross...i know.
I went on a cruise with the family at the end of June and when we got back I drove to Cola, only to get a call from my mother telling me that my grandmother had passed away. The pain was breath taking. I am so thankful to have been at my friend Kimberly's house and even more thankful to have the comfort of a friend who would let me cry without saying a word. Kimberly and I drove to Fairfax, SC for the viewing and the funeral. I spoke at the funeral...which I never imagined would be as hard as it was. Death is odd, but unavoidable. It goes against our very nature.
I saw great beauty in my family through the death of my MaMa Precious. Kimberly, Sarah, and I stayed with my great aunt, Grace and I felt right at home there. I saw how much we had in common, our love for writing, our laid back personality, and our occasional sarcasm. I feel like the end of my grandmother's life brought an extra boost of life to our family. Or maybe it was just that her passing unveiled my eyes just a bit to see the life my family has. Her death put me in a place to learn how to receive love from my family and how sweet that was. It is true that you don't know what it is like to lose someone you love until you actually do. It was heartbreaking for me to see my two cousins cry and even hard to hear that I was special to her and she loved me very much. I have never met another woman with more endurance than my grandmother. She was a woman who despite having being an amputee and having hands that were reshaped by the years, lived on her own (with the exception of her cats) and never stopped loving her family. If you want to read what I read at the funeral it is here.

As I Wrestle With You
God is good. That I know to be true. Lately I have been finding myself at the well in the shoes of a woman who is being offered living water. If you have time look up John 4 and read the story of the woman at the well. If you don't get a chance that is okay it might just help to see where I am coming from. Jesus intentionally sits by a well where a Samaritan woman comes to draw water. It is there that Jesus offers this woman water...living water...life. However this woman is not yet ready to receive what is being offered to her, she has questions, and Jesus welcomes those questions. God why did this happen now? God I can't take any more hits on my life, I am weary. God what are you doing? Where are you in this? God what are you inviting me to do? After telling the woman that He was indeed the Messiah, the woman left her jar at the well and ran back to the village telling the people of what she heard. But the fact that Jesus is who he says he is, is still sinking into her mind. "is this not the Christ" Come see this must be him.
We are an instant microwave society, but our hearts and our minds work so differently. God says "I am good" and our heads respond in agreement that that is truth. But our hearts are not so accepting at first. You see I have learned that it is one thing to understand something and it is another to believe something. But what is so amazing is I can bring my questions to God and He meets me where I am. I can be honest and tell him that I do not yet believe with my heart that He is who He is revealing Himself to be and He takes my head knowledge of Him and brings it to my heart.
After my grandmother passed I wrestled with God so much. Her death was unexpected, and selfishly I had just dealt with hard stuff in my life. What was He thinking in His timing? I am slowly seeing and believing that He knows exactly what He is doing. That He is perfect in orchestrating my life.

My Precious
My heart. I am reading this book by John Eldredge called Waking the Dead. It is a really good book---and is not about raising people to life hahaha. There is this quote that is in the book that has been on replay "God's glory is man fully alive" -Saint Iraneus. God wants us to take a hold of the freedom we are given in Him. He wants us to take the life He offers and He wants us to find sanctuary in Him. But wounds, bondage, addictions, and so much more stick to us and attempt to take hold of us. I have seen more and more how much of a spiritual war we are under. That might sound "religious" to some of you. Too bad it is TRUTH. Jesus came to set the captives free, to bind up the broken hearted and Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy. Two opposite motives. Satan opposes the life Jesus offers. There is a tension there that will always be there until the day we die. I pray that I am not naive in believing that the war is not taking place. Check out the book if you get time...it is an enjoyable read and John is a great author. Inspired by one of the metaphors Eldredge uses of the tin man and by my life, I wrote this:

“War for the Heart”

I’m dieing. You came to strip me,
Left empty, chest made of tin.
Cold is my blood, and blank are my eyes.
You delighted in the sin,
While I bled as I cried.

I’m dieing. Where do I turn
When my heart thuds no more
And my mind races so much it burns,
Body weary not feeling how much you tore.

I’m dieing. This shall not be my last.
Where is my ax for I will fight,
Scrape the rust from the past,
Looking to Him only for might.

You have something of mine,
And I am taking it back.
Tonight we dine
But tomorrow your barrier will crack.
Then you will see this shell—alive.

June 30, 2008
Lauren Whatley

Okay I think this is a ton for you to read for now. More updates to come as God continues to speak and I stop to listen.

The College Girl

coming soon...

Hey there,

I am so sorry I haven't written in a while. There are so many amazing, scary, sad, and normal things that have happened that I would love to update you on. I plan to go sit at one of my favorite local coffee shops that has free wifi and write an update tomorrow after I work tomorrow. Dream of me at 4:30am as I rise to go serve people coffee. :)

I do have something to ask of you and I am asking this with my heart in expectation that you will give me a great gift. Would you please be praying for me for the next couple of weeks starting now?

Hope to see you back here tomorrow.

The College Girl

An update

So I am in to both jobs now. And I can see God's hand in them when I let go and stop trying to control so much. 

Got the Coffee Jitters

There is a lot to learn at starbucks. I had a blast making Frappuccinos Friday night.  Being a new partner of starbucks there is a lot to learn and that means I need to be shown things and I won't always do things right.  My manager and I believe just the Starbucks mentality is ask away. If you need help just ask and it will be given.  

Driving home one night this week I just laughed at God because He knows that that is an area I need to grow in.  I don't necessarily always know how to ask for help.  But I am learning what a valuable thing it is to ask.  It is all about learning how to take care of myself.  Asking is no by means a sign of weakness, if anything it should be a sign of strength because you know that you need something or that you don't have the knowledge so asking and obtaining whatever it is makes you a stronger and more knowledgeable person. 

Another thing I am seeing by working at Starbucks is that everyone has their story.  The old man that walks in and always orders the same thing, or the girl who transferred from out of state, or the partner working and going to summer school.  It is awesome to see the blend of people I work with and be amazed by what a strong community it is despite those differences...if only that were modeled everywhere. 

Docta' Docta' tell me the news...

As for the doctor's office, I am starting to be more comfortable there. We just moved into our new office which is really nice and very spacious compared to the last office.  I have the sense of just being taken care of there. The doctor is this great Christian guy who is laid back and doesn't lord over us who work for him. The two ladies I work with are really nice and just really relaxed people to be around.  I make mistakes there, but they are patient with me and teach me how to do things right. 

In other news: 

This week I got to talk to my friend Casie who if you remember is currently in Zambia. God is doing amazing things in her life and in the lives of those who she shares her story with. Hundreds are coming to Christ there. It is awesome to hear about. 

My friend sarah made it back from Jersey. Which has been fun to be able to spend time with her and my friend Kimberly this weekend. We have been chilling in this mansion that Sarah is house sitting for the owners. 

Thoughts

Lately I have been thinking what it means to love God with all your mind, heart, and soul. I don't think that means well just love God. I think He broke it down for a reason. You see you can know something is true in your mind, but not really be convinced in your heart. The only thing I have been caught up on lately is how do you love God with all of your soul? What does that look like? I am still thinking over this but if you have any comments I would love to hear them. I know there is a lot in my life right now that I know is true, but that my heart is not believing yet and that is a frustrating place to be. But the great thing is having sisters around me that believe with their hearts for me things that I cannot yet believe. 

So I found this passage of scripture the other day and I just love it so I wanted to share it with you. Running a little low on hope at the moment this really jumped out at me. 

And we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:2b-5 

Keep running the race even though it isn't easy. 

Okay one last thought and then I am going to eat my beagle that Kimbo just made for me. 

Today in church a prof of mine was speaking (I went to a different church) and He was talking about the irony of Christ's death. Quoting another preacher he said that the greatest miracle in the Bible was found in Mark 15:29-32 where people are telling Jesus to come off the cross he is nailed to and save himself. It was the greatest miracle that never happened. Christ hung on that cross. And I thought about all the pain I have felt in life and how at times I have wanted to just be completely restored not having to go through some process. I want to save myself from the cross I am nailed to. But Christ hung there on that cross even though it would have taken him little effort to save himself because He knew that we would be nailed to sin and other's sins and that we could not save ourselves. So He willingly hung there so that He would be able to take us off of our crosses. Wow! That is my God. All praise be to Him!

Miss you guys!

The college girl